Guilt
by jackandsamforever
Summary: I kind of felt cheated that we didn't get to see them dance more, so I wrote my own dance scene. Spoilers for "Madeline Pratt".


**AN: **I told you guys that I would be writing a lot while I deal with some RL crap. So here's yet another fic..haha. This is set during "Madeline Pratt". You'll pick up where at in the episode pretty quickly.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything related to the Blacklist.

"You have _me_, and I'm not going to let anything happen to _you._"

Liz watched as he approached her, a tenderness in his eyes that he didn't often show. As much as she hated to admit it, she trusted him completely, and knew that she would be safe as long as he watched over her.

She didn't know when it had happened, or why, because he'd been manipulating her from the moment they met, but she felt comfortable with him now. Something that confused the hell out of her, but also scared her to death. She was putting her life in the hands of a well-accomplished criminal who never showed his full hand to anyone; not even her. Hell, she still didn't know the reason _why _he cared about her at all.

Since he'd traded his life for hers during Anslo's raid, she'd began to develop feelings for him that weren't appropriate for a married woman to have. She tried her best to squash those feelings, but when he walked in just now, dressed to the nines in a suit that probably cost more than her house payment, she couldn't repress the butterflies in her stomach.

Liz hated herself for that, and felt guilt rise up in the back of her throat like bile.

She swallowed with difficulty, then turned her attention back to Red, who was looking at her with concern; his head slightly tilted as if he were asking her wordlessly what was wrong. She realized that tears were pooling in her eyes, and quickly turned her face away to try to hide them from him as she wiped her fingers underneath her eyes. She pulled her fingers away wet, and hurriedly turned her whole body away from him so she could dig a tissue out of her clutch. She pulled it out, then dabbed the corners of her eyes with the white Kleenex; trying her best not to smear her mascara.

Red didn't say a word as he put a gentle hand in between her shoulder blades, right where her dress began to dip to the middle of her back. His hands were warm and slightly rough as he moved his palm back and forth over her bare skin a few times, "Lizzy, why are you crying?"

She huffed an annoyed breath, "I'm not crying, I'm tearing up. There's a difference."

His hand moved lower on her back as she felt him step closer, his body heat radiating into hers, "Ok, why are you tearing up then?"

She turned her face to look at him over her shoulder, "I was just feeling a little overwhelmed for a moment, but I'm OK now. Let's get this over with."

Liz turned her body towards him and started to move away, but he stopped her forward progress by reaching up and squeezing her shoulder lightly. She looked up at him with furrowed eyebrows, "Red, we need to go."

She tried to move away again, but his hand tightened. "We have a few moments before we need to leave, and I feel like dancing."

Liz looked at him incredulously, "Here? We don't really have to time, and there isn't even any music."

He grinned, "Nonsense Lizzy, Dembe will come get us when it's time to go; just indulge me for a moment."

She sighed in defeat. _Why the hell not?_ "I guess."

He grinned and pulled her close to his body, their bodies not quite touching, as he wrapped an arm around her waist just above her tailbone, and took her hand in his. He began to waltz her around the room and she felt completely ridiculous, but indulged him like he'd asked.

After a few moments, he suddenly pulled her flush to his chest, let go of her hand, and wrapped both arms around her waist. She tried to pull away for a moment until he leaned close to he ear, then began to hum a hauntingly beautiful song that she'd never heard before. His humming was low, but the melody was clear as he swayed their bodies close, running his hands up and down her back lightly. She put her arms around his neck and leaned into his ear, "Red, what are you doing?"

His humming stopped and he said quietly, "I'm providing music so we can dance, isn't that obvious?" The last part was said with his infuriating smugness.

Deciding that it wasn't worth arguing with him, and feeling entirely too comfortable in his arms, she relaxed and let herself just _be_. She wasn't going to allow herself to think about how right it felt to be in his arms, and how wrong it was that she was.

They swayed together, their bodies in harmony, as Red continued to hum softly in her ear; his warm breath washing over her and his aftershave overwhelming her senses. She laid her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes, entirely wrapped up in him and in the moment. She hadn't felt like this in a long time, so content and safe, and felt guilty that she was in another man's arms while Tom sat at home and watched TV.

Just as she decided that it was time to put some space between them, lest she do something that she might regret later, Dembe walked in the room. "Raymond, it is time to go." Then walked back out before either one of them could answer.

She took a small step back, but he didn't allow her to go far with his hands still on her waist. He smiled softy and said, "Thank you, Lizzy."

She nodded with a small smile playing at the corner of her lips, and ran her hands under his jacket to find his suspenders. She absolutely loved him in suspenders, and hated that it attracted her to him even more. She wrapped her fingers around them and pulled him forward slightly until his lips were inches from hers. She glanced down at his mouth once, then back up to his eyes. She knew hers would show fear and guilt, and wondered what he would do.

They stared at each other, breaths mingling together, until the look on his face turned resolved. He leaned forward and kissed her, his lips warm and soft as they moved over hers. By the time her brain caught up to the fact that he was kissing her, and she wasn't doing anything about it, he was already stepping back with a hint of a smile on his face, "Come Lizzy, we need to go now or we'll be late."

She blinked and nodded, feeling cheated but not understanding why, then took the arm he was offering her. She wrapped her hand around his elbow, then leaned close as they walked out into the cool night. He glanced over at her as they reached the car where Dembe was holding the back door open for them, "I'll say again, Lizzy, You look absolutely stunning tonight. Red's a good color on you."

He grinned and slid into the car before she could say anything. She took a deep, cleansing breath and resolved to keep Red at arm's-length for the rest of the night. Her feelings were already conflicted, and she didn't need him influencing her even more so. She already felt guilty, and it was important that she was focused on what she was supposed to do later.

Red's head appeared in the doorway, "Are you coming?" He said impatiently.

She nodded, "Move over."

His head disappeared, and she stepped forward and slid into the car as Dembe closed the door behind her.

Red was sitting far enough away that she felt like she could finally relax a little. She leaned back into the seat and laid her head against the headrest, then closed her eyes. She must have been rubbing her scar with her fingers subconsciously, because Red put his hand over her clasped hands and said, "Lizzy, relax. You'll be fine. You're perfectly capable of playing the criminal part tonight, of that I have no doubt."

Little did he know that that wasn't what she was thinking about at all. Her mind kept playing their dance and subsequent kiss over and over in great detail. It was driving her mad.

She didn't want him to know that though, so she grimaced, "I'm sure I'll be fine. I'm just a little nervous." She cleared her throat, "So what was that song that you were humming?"

He crossed his legs, pursing his lips in thought, "I first heard it in Ireland. I don't remember the circumstances during which I heard it, but it's always stayed with me. I love it."

She nodded, "I loved it to. Thanks for sharing it with me." He squeezed her hands lightly in acknowledgement, then kept his hand on hers for the remainder of the trip as they rode in silence the rest of the way to the Embassy. By the time Dembe pulled the car up to the front, her sanity was hanging on by a thread. Red had spent the entire trip moving his thumb over her knuckles in soothing strokes. She had convinced herself multiple times that she was going to pull her hands away, but never did. Her brain must be short-circuited; that's the only reason she could think of why she didn't move them.

Dembe walked around the car and opened her door for her. She stepped out and to the side, then watched as Red slid out of the car. He put his hand on her back, then lead her towards the front doors. Before they reached the guards at the front, he leaned close and put his lips against the shell of her ear, then whispered, "Remember that you're going to be watched closely. You need to act accordingly."

She nodded stiffly, trying not to react to his close proximity. They reached the door and showed their ID's, then walked into the entry hall of the elaborately decorated Embassy.

Liz closed her eyes momentarily, focusing on the task at hand. She could do this. Red had faith in her, so she did too.

She slipped her arm in his as they began to descend the staircase, and pasted on her most convincing smile.

**Author's Note: ** This probably isn't that great, but I had to write it because my muse wouldn't leave me alone. I know it's not canon, but I like to imagine it being _thisclose_ to what we may get sometime soon. Maybe? Hopefully? Anyway, let me know what you think. Thanks for reading.


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